The Grumpy Chef: My Winter Hiatus or 'Oh Holy Crap!"

Monday 10 November 2008

My Winter Hiatus or 'Oh Holy Crap!"

Bonjour mes amandes légèrement blanchies!

A long time has past my effervescent eggplants, but fear not! In true Chef style......I have my excuses and explanations at hand! So sit back, relax and get comfy on your favorite sofa......

There was an earthquake, a tidal wave, a monsoon and then Hurricane Latte Grande demolished my caboose! What a hiatus though....so much has happened in our ever-revolving existence. Our Government is trying to collapse the job market from the inside out like a cheap microwave, Chef Ramsay is possibly going to loose his Chelsea restaurant Foxtrot Oscar ( apparently that stands for 'Formerly Occupied' but I could be wrong ) and CAMRA have warned that due to beer price increases, more pubs will close......Well, instead of combing their last Steak and Ale Pie from there beards and moaning about the temperature of the last pint of Black Sheep consumed, they should get off their lard-arses and do something about it! Like have a bath, a shave and try a Wine Bar or Bistro! Times have moved on Boys...stop looking like an extra in a Time Team Special and get up-to-date! ( For all my European, American and Worldwide Friends, if you are not sure about this, believe me, its all quite funny! )

Well...I guess we have to touch upon the recent unpleasantness of Chef Ramsay's extra-marital activity! I believe the count is up to 3 Mistresses, not to mention his Wife Tana! There is one thing that puzzles me......How in Hell did the Man have time????? Ramsay Holdings has 25 Restaurants in its portfolio, 24 Michelin Stars scattered throughout those restaurants, he has numerous Media shows and award ceremonies, Kitchen Nightmares (although the American Version has recently been cancelled in light of the accusations), his Cook-a Long show and I am sure that the Bookers Conglomerate will be putting him in adverts soon! So....where does the man find the time?

Personally, I work between 12-16 hours per day! So that leaves me with, on average, 10 hours. 5 of those hours are spent sleeping. One hour is spent driving to and from work. 30 minutes is taken up with coffee breaks and 30 mins is taken up with various amounts of shouting at kitchen staff and morons. Two hours, if I am lucky is taken up with Family time and the remaining hour is the one single, solitary hour i have for myself!

Chef Ramsay has built his career on aggression, verbal abuse of his staff and sometimes, and this may shock you, even his cooking! But one of the main reasons he has become as big as he is now......is the fact he is portrayed as a Family Man. A hard, rugged, ego-tistical, no nonsense Chef at work, but a light-hearted fun-loving family man at home. What a way to create publicity....even the French agree! Though they bloody would!

I think there is a question to be asked......Is it true? Who knows? A sure fire way to answer that is in the lead up to this mornings papers...Almost every newspaper, on the front page, has been following the Mumbai issues.....devastating news! Only one, that i know of hasn't....The Sun/News of the World! You be the judge!

Once again......it is THAT time of year again! This time though, things are different. For the Catering Industry, Christmas is not a time to be jolly. Most eateries are trading down on Christmas Bookings and a number of establishments are remaining closed for the most festive day of the year! Rises in food costs, wages and fundamental bills, like Gas and Electric, have forced many owners and managers to not only close, but close for good! An average of 3 Pub/Restaurants are closing per day! That's a colossal amount! Not to mention the loss of jobs.

The Industry is in a state of uncertainty and despite the good wishes of the major players who seem to be throwing up more hotels and restaurants every day, the smaller, lesser known pub companies and private restaurateurs are getting hit more and more with inflated costs.

We are in a downward spiral, my melancholy maroon chestnuts, and if you are really unlucky, you might find yourself having Chipmunk Roasting on an Open Fire.

Altogether Now!!! (to the tune of "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire")

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Hot sauce dripping from their toes
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose

Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight

So.....on that delightful note and knowing that all the Ray Mears' associated gifts that you will receive this year.....

Til next time......Fumisterie de Bah

Le Chef Grincheux

2 comments:

SheR. said...: Hey Chef!
Good to have you back. Hope the financial crisis is not hitting you too hard?
Time to be busy. Keep roasting those squirrels.
Ta!; 11 December 2008 at 17:49
parfitt said...: At Last! Good to see you are back. Keep it going.; 12 December 2008 at 03:35

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Chef Alain Ducasse

Alain Ducasse (born 13 September 1956) is a Monégasque chef. He formerly held French nationality. He operates a number of restaurants including Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester which holds three stars (the top ranking) in the Michelin Guide.

Ducasse was born on a farm in Castel-Sarrazin in southwestern France. In 1972, when he was sixteen, Ducasse began an apprenticeship at the Pavillon Landais restaurant in Soustons and at theBordeaux hotel school. After this apprenticeship, he began work at Michel Guérard’s restaurant in Eugénie-les-Bains while also working for Gaston Lenôtre during the summer months. In 1977, Ducasse started working as an assistant at Moulin de Mougins under legendary chef Roger Vergé, creator of Cuisine du Soleil, and learned the Provençal cooking methods for which he was later known.

Ducasse's first position as chef came in 1980 when he took over the kitchens at L’amandier in Eugène Mougin. One year later, he assumed the position of head chef at La Terrasse in the Hôtel Juana in Juan-les-Pins. In 1984, he was awarded two stars in the Michelin Red Guide. In that same year, Ducasse was the only survivor of a Learjet crash that nearly took his life.

In 1986, Ducasse was offered the Chef position at the Hotel de Paris in Monte Carlo, with management including the hotel's Le Louis XV. After assuring himself that the Hotel's other restaurant operations were operating well, Ducasse continued to run management.

In 1988, Ducasse expanded beyond the restaurant industry and opened La Bastide de Moustiers, a twelve-bedroom country inn in Provence and he began attaining financial interests in other Provence hotels. On 12 August 1996, the Alain Ducasse restaurant opened in Le Parc – Sofitel Demeure Hôtels in the XVIe arrondissement (16th district) of Paris, France. The Red Guide awarded the restaurant three stars just eight months after opening.

Ducasse came to the United States and in June 2000 opened the Alain Ducasse restaurant in New York City's Essex House Hotel at 160 Central Park South, receiving the Red Guide's three stars in December 2005, in the first Red Guide for NYC. That restaurant closed in 2007. In early 2008, Ducasse opened Adour, at the St. Regis Hotel on 16th and K Street in Washington, DC, and has also opened a more casual Bistro Benoit New York, at 60 West 55th Street.

Ducasse became the first chef to own restaurants carrying three Michelin Stars in three cities. The New York restaurant was dropped from the 2007 Michelin Guide because the restaurant was scheduled to close. Ducasse has become known through his writing and influences. Ducasse is also the only chef to hold 19 Michelin stars throughout his career (Masterchef 2010)

Ducasse was a French citizen by birth. However, on 17 June 2008, he became a naturalized citizen of Monaco. Since Monegasque nationality law does not allow dual citizenship, he immediately lost his French citizenship as a result. He chose Monegasque citizenship in order to take advantage of the principality's very low tax rates.

Alain Ducasse's restaurants, cooking schools, cookbooks, and consulting activities had revenues of $15.9 million in 2002. Since that time, Ducasse has been expanding his reach. Alain Ducasse has also opened a cooking school for the general public in Paris and another for chefs (ADF), which also works for the European Space Agency to develop astronaut meals to be taken into space. Ducasse has also authored numerous books, with the most famous being Alain Ducasse Culinary Encyclopaedia.